It’s not too big of a leap into the fat-and-calorie pool, because the beef should be lean, you skim off the fat that renders, and although the recipe calls for a quarter cup of olive oil, I usually use far less and it is a healthy oil. It’s also a great second day soup — the flavors get stronger as it sits.

Hm…maybe we should make it today.

If you want to make it more calorie-friendly, go light on the cheese and other toppings or skip them all together. It’s good enough without it, I swear.

*Henderson’s chili:

The ingredients:

• 3 lb lean beef, chopped fine or ground coarse
• ¼ cup olive oil
• 1 qt water
• 8 banana peppers chopped fine
• 6 Tb chili powder
• 3 tsp salt
• 10 cloves garlic chopped
• 1 tsp cumin (more if you are Nona)
• 1 tsp oregano
• 1 tsp red pepper
• 1 Tb sugar
• 3 Tb paprika
• 3 Tb flour
• 6 Tb white corn meal

The directions:

Heat olive oil in stockpot. Add meat. Sear until done but not brown. Add water, cover and simmer for 2 hours. Add rest of ingredients except flour and corn meal. Cook 30 minutes. Skim off any fat. Mix flour and corn meal with 1 c water until smooth, add to the chili. Cook five minutes, stirring often. Serve with onions, beans, cheese, crackers and sour cream on the side.

*(This is named after the family that gave my husband the recipe, by the way.)

I love, love, love to cook. And I made this cheeseburger soup recipe I found on an slow cooker website last night for a book club meeting. It is the bomb.

Ingredients:

• 4 cups chicken broth
• 1/2 of a white onion, diced
• 1 lb lean ground beef, browned and drained on the stove top
• 1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
• 2 potatoes, cut in 1-inch cubes
• 2 small garlic cloves, minced
• 1 cup milk (to add later, soy is fine)
• 24 oz Velveeta, cubed (to add later)

Cheeseburger flavor in a soup

Directions:

Brown the meat on the stove top with the onion, and drain fat. I have used 1/2 pound instead of a whole pound before, and we didn’t miss the extra meat. Set aside to cool a bit.
In a 5-6 quart crockpot, pour in chicken broth. Add garlic, bell pepper, and potatoes. Stir in the browned meat and onion.
Cover and cook on low for 6 hours, or until onions are translucent and potatoes are tender. Stir in milk and Velveeta 20-30 minutes before serving. If you’d like the broth thicker, blend a bit with a hand held stick blender. Top with anything you like on a burger.

And then tonight, I made my husband a steak-and-potatoes dinner that was restaurant quality, if I do say so myself.

Flat Iron Bourbon Barbecue Steak:

Ingredients:

• 1 pound flat iron steak (you could use flank, but you will need to marinate it longer.)
• 1 nip (airplane-size bottle) of bourbon (I used Knob Creek, but any Kentucky bourbon or Jack Daniels would be fine)
• 1 tsp. of McCormick’s Grill Mates Mesquite seasoning (or make it yourself: cumin, chili and garlic powder, red pepper flakes and black pepper)
• 1 Tbsp. sesame oil
• 1/4 cup Sippies’s Sauce (a local barbecue sauce, but you could use your favorite type or make your own.)

Directions:
Pour about half the bourbon over the steak and season both sides with the McCormick’s mesquite seasoning. Let the meat marinate for about 30 minutes. Spray a well-seasoned cast iron skillet with non-stick cooking spray and add the sesame oil. Get the pan SCREAMING hot. Add the steak. Let it sear for about four minutes, then flip and let it sear on the other side for another four minutes. Turn the heat down and let the steak cook for a few more minutes, until the middle feels slightly firm (there is a knack to touching a steak to know it’s temperature, and slightly firm is medium rare, which is how we like it. If you like it more well done, let it cook longer until it feels more firm. And, by the way, if you like steak well done, you do not appreciate beef as it should be served. I pity you.)

When the steak is the right temperature, pour the rest of the bourbon in the pan and deglaze any brown bits (aka the good stuff) from the pan. Turn the heat off and add the barbecue sauce. Swish the steak around the pan to get it covered in barbecue sauce and bourbon. Let the sauce reduce in the remaining heat of the pan. You don’t want it to have a toffee consistency — think more very thin caramel.

Let the steak rest (at least five minutes) in the pan. Slice and serve with the sauce. Die from the awesomeness.

Roasted fingerling potatoes:

Ingredients:

• Half pound (small bag) of fingerling potatoes (usually a mix of redskin, Yukon gold and Peruvian purple potatoes — which are the best potatoes ever grown in earth’s soil, in my opinion)
• 3 quarts water (enough for a small stock pot)
• Salt to taste
• 1 shallot, roughly chopped

Purple potatoes ROCK!

Heat oven to 425 degrees (super-duper high Celsius for Canadian readers)

To top it all off, we had one of the best wines I have ever tasted, Fortress Vineyards 2007 Red Hills Lake County Cabernet Sauvignon, which I purchased from on online wine seller, Lot 18.  If you can buy wine over the Internet (not legal everywhere) I highly recommend this site. I have never been disappointed in the quality and the wines have always been a great value.

I suck at following directions to the letter, so I certainly don’t expect you to do any better. Adjust this according to taste, a little more of this, a little less of that, no-fucking-way-I’m-putting-that-in-my-food, whatever.

This makes enough for two fat people who love potato salad or the average family of four. Double or triple everything if you are taking it for a cookout where fat people who love potato salad are expected (that would be almost every cookout I’ve ever attended.)

Ingredients:

• Pound or so of wee potatoes (redskins or Yukon gold or a combination) sliced into 1-inch chunks.
• 4 ounces of sour cream (or more if you like your salad more creamy)
• Handful of chives, chopped into tiny bits (I use kitchen scissors, EZPZ)
• Half cup of bacon bits (the real stuff, not the fake shit; you can get it in the salad dressing aisle if you can’t fry your own)
• Half cup of shredded cheese (I use Colby Jack, you use what you like, sharp cheddar would be awesome)
• Three tablespoons (or more to taste) of Kraft’s Light Creamy Caesar salad dressing (or make your own, Martha Stewart)
• Tablespoon of raw onions, chopped into wee bits
• Teaspoon of dried oregano
• Teaspoon of garlic powder

Put the chopped taters into a pot of lightly salted water and bring to a boil. Let them boil for about two minutes or so, until they are just fork tender. Strain the taters and pat them dry. Place them on a non-stick baking sheet sprayed with cooking spray. Toss them with the chopped onion and sprinkle with the oregano and garlic powder. I don’t salt the potatoes because they are going to get their groove on with the salty bacon later and I may still want to be able to wear shoes after that.

Spray a fine mist of cooking spray over the potatoes (it’s like tanning spray for taters.)

Put the tray under the broiler for about 8 minutes. Keep an eye on them that they don’t burn, which happens about a half a millisecond after they get to the perfect golden color. Remove from the broiler and let the potatoes cool. RESIST the urge to eat them all right then.

Actually, if you just want to eat them right then, these are awesome roasted potatoes. Add a little salt and pepper and have at it.

Assuming you resisted and still want to make tater salad, continue reading:

In a big mixing bowl, whisk the sour cream and the salad dressing together (the salad dressing adds great garlic-and-puree-of-anchovy flavor to the sour cream) and then gently blend in the chives, the bacon bits and the cheese.  Taste it. Don’t eat it all! Just a taste. Add more of anything you think it needs.

Once the taters are totally cool, add them to the dressing. Taste again. Need more cheese? More sour cream or bacon?  Toss it in.

STOP EATING IT ALL.

Cover and keep chilled until it’s time to share with others. Enjoy.

The idea was to artfully stage this event and use all the techniques I taught myself learned in class this semester. This would include use of light, motion, reflection, depth of field, etc.

I never realized how many batches of cookies I would have to make to get a cohesive narrative out of the process.

I love me some chocolate chip cookies, but it’s gonna be a good long while before I ever want to eat them again.

To view the narrative, click here.

By the way, moments after this photo was taken, I began to download the images from my camera. Then I hear this slurping sound. I look down the table at the plate full of cookies to find my cat licking everyone of them in a “this one’s mine and this one’s mine and that one too” sort of way.

Good thing for him I have lost my appetite.

No matter. Pork tonight will be tasty and leftovers tomorrow will be even better.

So the husband fired up our charcoal grill, soaked some wood chips, and coated the previously rubbed meat with brown sugar.  He can never do anything with brown sugar and not sing the chorus from that Rolling Stones song, a quirky habit that I find endearing and cute but others may find geeky as hell.

The sugar, by the way, creates a delicious crust on the meat. In case you wondered.

Anyway, after an hour on the grill it’s time to mop the meat. Mopping helps to keep the outer part of the meat moist and adds another layer of flavor.  We made a balsamic/garlic-infused grapeseed oil dressing and added a few healthy dashes of Worchestershire sauce, chili powder and dried oregano. This will be brushed on the meat everytime we turn it.

How much of each, you ask again. Well, my detail-oriented reader, I have no real idea. We follow the basic rule of dressing: two parts oil to one part vinegar. Everything else was just tossed in to what appeared to be appropriate levels.

Recipe writing my not ever be my forte. I’m a dash-of-this kind of cook. Measuring shit is for baking, so I do it every single time when I’m working with pastry.

A piece of pig this big will likely take about three hours on indirect heat to cook properly.

Since there is only two of us tonight and there will be seven people here tomorrow, we will try not to eat it all tonight and save some of it to go with the boule that our friend @sparkleymegz will make for us tomorrow night.

This weekend, by the way, is a big old throwdown before we come to our dietary senses on Monday.

Promises, promises.

Tomorrow’s dinner will include a charcoal-grilled pork loin, fresh made boule, grilled asparagus and potatoes, and a seven-layer cookie and dark chocolate cupcakes with vanilla bean frosting.

We are going all out because @afloridapeach, who has been interning at the newspaper this summer, is leaving on Wednesday and this will, alas, be her final TBS dinner. We will miss her very much.

Today I made a dry rub for the pork loin, which includes:

• Smoked paprika
• Cumin
• Applewood smoked salt
• Smoked pepper
• Red pepper flakes
• Mustard powder

Now you may be asking, why are there no quantities posted here? What kind of recipe writer are you? Good questions. A little snarky, but fair.

I used equal parts, about three teaspoons, each of everything except the salt, which I used an extra teaspoon, to coat the 5 pound loin pictured here.  And that combo worked out to be the right amount for me.

You may ask, well why didn’t you write that orginially, you home cookin’  blogger bish?  Why are you wasting my valuable time?  Again, a good question, even if you are a wee bit testy today. Relax, have a glass of wine and let me ‘splain.

I come from the Julia Child school of individuality in flavor. To quote the fabulous Julia: “I like it the way I like it, you like it the way you like it.”

I like my meat strong on the smoky flavor, lighter on the heat. If you like less smoke and more kick, put in less cumin, use plain paprika, and ratchet up the red pepper flakes. Add more pepper, more mustard. Do what smells and tastes good to you. I

Also, you may need more or less rub depending on the size of your meat. Unlike sex, size does really matter in cooking.

But talent counts for the most in both.

The most important thing to remember is to RUB YOUR MEAT.  Your hand should look all sticky and grainy, much like this shaky photo, when you are done coating this huge hunk of piggy.  This noble animal should not have given his life in vain.  You want to season this meat to deeply enhance the flavors.

Tomorrow, the loin will cook low and slow on a charcoal grill and we will add a mopping liquid to keep it marinated and moist while it roasts.

More details tomorrow.

And in the meantime, chill out a little. Food is like sex, it should be fun and you know you are really having fun when it gets messy.

This is Eric Northman, the show’s bad-boy vampire and all around hottie. The young ladies who watch this with us swoon over him. I would too but I am already married to a hottie.

And he’s all human and all mine.

If you aren’t familiar with “True Blood,” it’s ever-so-loosely based on Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse novels and it’s a kick ass show. Sexual, political, scary and funny all at the same time. Not to be missed. Unless you are very sensitive, religious or easily offended.

And if you are all of those things, really, my little food/weight gain loss blog is probably not going to be to your liking. Seriously. I say “fuck” often. See? I did it again.

Any old hoo, it’s hotter than two rats banging in a wool sock here in our commonwealth, so I was trying to think of a something I could make that would go with Mexican food for tonight’s TBS that would also be cool and refreshing.

Besides margaritas, of course.

So I decided to honor Mexico by adding jicama, a terrific root veggie from south of the border, to cole slaw. You know, just to add a little ethnic flair and another layer of flavor to that most boring of summer side dishes.

Here’s the recipe, which is very easy except for chopping the jicama, which is only mildly challenging.

• 1 jicama bulb, peeled and sliced into slender strips
• 1 green cabbage, half a head, shredded
• 1 orange bell pepper, sliced into slender strips (or a red one if you like. I dig orange, but red would be more TrueBloodish)
• 1 carrot, peeled and shredded
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 3/4 cups of cole slaw dressing to coat the slaw, use more or less to taste. I love Marzetti’s original slaw dressing.

Directions (such as they are)

• Peel the jicama, cut off both ends
• Slice that into thin pieces and chop those thin slices into strips
• Shred the cabbage by slicing thin strips and chopping into bite size pieces
• Peel and slice the carrot (it’s easy to use the peeler to shave it)
• Chop the bell pepper into thin slices
• Toss all the veggies together
• Add salt (about 1/2 teaspoon should be enough)
• Add pepper to taste
• Coat with your favorite slaw dressing (again, I like Marzetti. Feel free to make your own or use whatever brand you like)

To make this even easier, you can use a bag of already prepared cole slaw cabbage/carrots.

If you are careful with the dressing this can be a relatively low-fat side, it’s loaded with veggie goodness and should pair well with grilled tilapia soft tacos, roasted corn and tequila.

And Eric Northman.

In no particular order: We went on vacation, during which I got sick and spent time with the in-laws, which was weird in a way I really can’t go into on this blog.  Our daughter moved out. Our beloved dog, Dexter, died unexpectedly. An intern moved in.

And I have yet to make it to Weight Watchers.

Today we picked up Dexter’s ashes from the vet hospital where he died. I had this weird reaction of deeply sobbing one minute to being OK the next. It seems surreal to have this bag full of stuff that was once my dog.

We went for ice cream. Cause that’s what we do when we have difficult emotions.

I needed to spend a little time in my kitchen. That almost always makes me feel better. I can cook, finish the laundry, play my iPod, watch the World Cup. All in my kitchen. It’s my favorite room in the house.

I put a nice dry rub on some boneless pork ribs and then I finally got to make tater salad.

This is not as fattening as it could be, but it’s not light either.

But it’s damn tasty, if I do say so myself.

This is all the basic ingredients. Redskin potatoes. Reduced fat sour cream (NEVER get the fat free version because it tastes like butt cheese. At least, it’s what I imagine butt cheese would taste like.) Garlic powder (not salt, big difference) green onions and shredded cheese (not the least bit butt-cheesy-tasting.)

And bacon bits. I forgot to add the bacon bits to this photo. Buy real bacon bits. Those fake crunchy ones are gross. Like chewing on little pieces of mulch.

If you can fry or bake your own bacon, all the better. I didn’t have time for that. Or bacon. But I had real bacon bits.

Where were we? Oh yes. Tater salad.

I use redskins because I like them and because they are small and easy to cut into bite size pieces. I used a pound in this recipe. They were really small ones and sliced them into sixths. Then I boiled them until tender. If it were not thirteen hundred degrees outside today, I might have baked them instead. But my oven hardly ever sees action in the summer.

After the taters were boiled tender, I drained them and let them cool. Once they were room temperature, I whipped up about a cup of the sour cream with about a cup of cheese, about a quarter cup of scallions (green onion tops) and a whole bag of Kraft Real Bacon Bits. That got poured over the taters and tossed until all the taters were coated. Then I added the garlic powder and stirred again.

You’ll notice I used the word “about” a lot in this recipe. That’s because I eye-balled it and didn’t measure a thing. Your results may vary. Just mix it until it tastes good. Want more cheese? Add more. More bacon? Of course. Don’t like bacon? Leave it out, but I don’t understand you at all. This is seriously good stuff.

And oh-so-very-easy. If anyone is reading this blog that is not a cook, you can make this. Really. It’s simple and it will be a hit at summer cookouts. Really.

And every day I get a little more bold and a little less chicken shit. Body and soul are indeed connected.

It helped that it was a glorious day today. Temperatures over 60, sun shining, mutts wailing. Windows were opened. Dog farts wafted out and fresh air flowed in. It was invigorating. And since it was so warm and fabulous, we had to fire up the charcoal grill. It just had to be done.

Any old hoo, I decied to bake banana bread (post to follow, probably tomorrow) and make my hunny bourbonz chickens and our favorite grilled Caesar salad to go with it.

We had this salad in our favorite local restaurant and have been making it ever since. My initial reaction was, uh, do I really want hot lettuce? But the answer is oh yes, I certainly do. It’s extremely tasty and pretty close to healthy.

Here’s all the stuff required: Romaine hearts, olive oil, salt and pepper, Parmesan cheese and Caesar dressing. Could I make my own dressing? Sure I could, but the idea of anchovy paste is more than I can deal with. I prefer to leave that to someone else. Besides, this brand is delicious.

Slice the lettuce length-wise, leaving the stem intact. This holds the leaves together and makes grilling it so much easier. I might even go so far as to say grilling this lettuce would be damn near impossible, or at least a hot mess, without the stem.

Drizzle some olive oil over the lettuce.

Add pepper. Lots of fresh cracked pepper. As far as my husband is concerned, you can never have too much cracked black pepper.

Add a little Kosher salt. This can be omitted, but even with my high blood pressure, I can still have a little salt, and it really enhances flavor.

Then they go to the grill, with the seasoned, flat side down. Grill for about four to five minutes. Turn it once.

They are done when there is a nice light char on the lettuce leaves. I am no Alton Brown, so I can’t really explain the whole chemical reaction here, but whatever sugar there is in lettuce is now enhanced by adding a little heat. The flavor of this is amazing, and the leaves are tender but not limp.

Serve with a sprinkling of shaved Parmesan cheese and a drizzle of Caesar dressing, and I do mean a drizzle. We maybe used a tablespoon of dressing for both of these Romaine hearts, and it was plenty. We also added a few dashes of Bacon Bacon, which is a seasoning mix of garlic, pepper and dried bacon bits. Adds nice crunch.

Best salad ever. Makes light eating enjoyable.

I preheated the oven to 375 degrees, took the chicken out of the marinade and put it on a broiler pan, added salt and pepper and discarded the marinade. Here is where I preach safe chicken handling: Wash everything, especially your hands, when dealing with poultry. Always discard the marinade. You can’t boil the bacteria out of that shit.

I Safely tucked the chicken in the oven for about 30 to 35 minutes. Then I watched some of the NFC Championship game because either the Saints or the Vikings will play THE COLTS IN THE SUPER BOWL in a couple of weeks.

After 35 minutes (these were some big old breasts) I checked the temperature with my meat thermometer and it was only 140. I wanted to see at least 155 to 160 before I felt like the bird was ready to serve. Safe handling guidelines will tell you 175 to 180, but there is residual cooking when you let the chicken rest before serving, and honestly, as long as the meat is white and not even slightly pink, it’s done. Back in the oven it went for about five more minutes.

Five minutes elapsed and I turned the oven from bake to broil to get the skin crispy. But at that point, it was kick off on the Saints/Vikings game and I think the Vikings struck gold in the end zone first and I lost track of time and, yeah, I charred the skin. It should only have been in the broiler for about two minutes and I left it in for at least a series of downs, probably five to six minutes.

This ain’t the damn Food Network, y’all.

Any old hoo, the thermometer came quickly up over 160 and I knew the bird was done. Removing the charred skin is OK, since the skin is the majority of the fat calories. As you can see, I served the chicken breast with roasted asparagus and a lovely Pinot Noir,  VICTORY WINE AS WE TOASTED THE COLTS!

And the chicken? Kick ass delicious.  Much like my COLTS!