So my husband, Mr. Logical, pointed out to me last night that getting a perfect score on all the possible symptoms of low self-esteem might actually be the antithesis of what I am trying to get out of the time spent with Dr. Shrink and all the happy pills I swallow everyday.
Whatever, Mr. Smarty Pants. At least I got to build a little self-esteem when I applied my mad math skillz to finding an average of my low-esteem points and plotting it on a line graph. Take that, Mr. Accountant-Know-it-All.
Sing it with me: "She's a Brick. House."
So I went to bed and fell asleep with the TV on Bravo, which means I woke up at 3 a.m. because on the bazillionth re-run of this show, the Real Housewives of Orange County were screaming at each other. As I fumbled for the remote to shut off those Botoxed bitches, I remember why I watch those shows: No matter how low my self-esteem may go, I have a better life than these status-obsessed, petty women.
That made me wake up just a few hours later with a whole new attitude toward this self esteem thing — and a new appreciation for just how dreadful the OC Housewives really are. I need to start accentuating the positive. At the same time I was having that little emotional revelation, I tried to get out of bed and could barely move. Then I remembered I walked a couple of miles yesterday.
Sore muscles from exercise is a good thing, I told myself as I reached for the ibuprofen. See how good I can be at accentuating the positive? Overachiever skillz; I have them.
It’s time, I believe, to get this blog off the emotional health issues (at least temporarily) and back to the physical ones. It’s time to hit the weight-loss effort with real gusto. It’s time to use the happy pills as a motivator to raising my mood through the hard work of exercise and healthier eating.
It’s time.
(Photo from http://suite148.tumblr.com/)
I too am struggling with getting the motivation to get off my butt and get moving again. I had a dr. appt yesterday where the cold hard reality of my lack of exercise and willpower against sweets and carbs have caused my weight to soar to an all-time high….spent the rest of the evening beating myself up and wondering why I just can’t get it together. Just a few short years ago, I managed to lose 100 lbs. and in the process discovered a love of walking. I want desperately to get back to when the high point of my day was strapping on my sneakers and hitting the pavement for an hour or so. Whatever it takes, I HAVE to get back there….or die.
Leisa: I am right there with you girl. My weight runs up and down the scale. And I have to lose this weight or lose my mobility.
That pressure perpetuates the anxiety and depression and around, around, around we go.
We have to get our whole bodies — physical and emotional well at the same time.
We can do it. We just need encouragement. I got your back, lady.
everything you are talking about i fully get & can relate to — i feel like i am reading my own thoughts when i read your blog.
but you are on the right path — once you get outta your own head — the rest truly falls into place.
I got your back too too Nona. And I also sleep with Bravo, yikes.