I really am going to write posts about BlogHer. Really. Cause I loved it hardcore and I really want to get all my thoughts together and blah, blah, blah…
What I really want to write about now is the hundreds of penises (penii?) that popped up magically in my back yard last night.
No shit. It’s like the Viagra fairy farted all over this one patch of grass during the night and this morning there were all these phallic mushrooms sporting morning wood.
Would I kid about this? Look at these dicks hanging out in my yard.
It’s been ultra humid here for the last few days and we’ve had all this tropical-style rain and the ground? She is moist and fertile. And where ever there is Mother Earth, all wet and ready to party, you can expect fungii to become erect.
I would not care too much about these nasty ‘shrooms in my yard, but last year we think one of our dogs munched on one and got very sick. Her life was spared by $1,000 of emergency vet care (Thank ye, Insurance Gods, for selling me pet insurance. Policy paid for itself with that visit alone.)
So we have to be vigilant about getting these fungal hard-ons out of the yard before one of our dumb dog decides to go down on it.
This really sucks.
Now that I am just about out of bad penis jokes, allow me to share this link and behold: The ‘shroom boobie!
Seriously, I think mushrooms are trying to mutate into human genitalia.
Disturbing, I know. Sign of the zombie apocalypse? Let’s hope not.
