Charles Barkley, the former-NBA-player-now-professional-fat-guy, once said that it was stupid to start a diet in the middle of the week.
I wholeheartedly agreed with that statement. So much so that I have often spent Wednesdays through the weekends stuffing my face like I’m a death row inmate’s and the warden is on his way.
So while I did spend a lot of time in the swimming and working out in the pool last week and I did try to make better food choices – remember I did order that salad that one time – I was on vacation and I was in Amish country and OMG Amish women make some spec-fucking-tacular pies. So there was a little butterscotch and peanut butter cream pie indulgences.
I was fully intended to dedicate myself, once again, to healthy eating and exercise starting today. Because it’s Monday.
I even had a pretty good plan when I went to bed last night: Wake up early, one cup of coffee, fresh fruit for breakfast, hit the organic hippie sandwich shop for lunch, and make it to water aerobics at the gym by 6 p.m. Then when I came home, I was going to clean out my pantry and rid it of as much processed food as possible.
On the Monday when I went to back to work after being on vacation for more than a week. On the Monday when clearly the work fairy took a giant dump all over my desk while I was away.
Sometimes I surprise myself with my own optimism. Or stupidity.
Optimism sounds better so let’s go with that one, m’kay?
Any old hoo, all I managed was a vending machine sandwich for lunch and a rotisserie chicken with a bagged salad for dinner. And now all I hope is to stay awake long enough to see tonight’s episode of “Real Housewives of New Jersey.”
So, fuck Charles Barkley. I can start over in the middle of the week. Same plan, different day. Tuesdays are like 100 percent better than Mondays.
In the meantime, I am inspired by this blog.
I follow this talented, smart lady on Twitter and I am a fan of her other blog.
I don’t think I can give up all grains, but I like the idea of thinking about food in a more balanced way and trying to separate emotions from food, which has for so long been my frenemy.






