Downscaling.net

I have been trying for months to do this on my own. I have failed miserably.

I thought that starting this blog would help me be accountable to my weight loss. I thought that if I could find a few supporters, and if I could faithfully post my progress here, that would be enough incentive for me to do what I need to do to drop this excess weight.

This excess weight that is driving my blood pressure up so high I have numbness in my hands and arms. This excess weight that is bearing down so hard on my joints that I ache when I walk or even get up from a chair. This excess weight that keeps me in a constant state of depression where I feel like I’m not a real woman and no one can take me seriously.

This excess weight that is killing me.

So I am heading back to Weight Watchers. Back to The Plan. Back to all the things that made me feel like a freak, because I don’t think I have any other choice.

I am going back to Weight Watchers because it works. And because I can’t keep making excuses for myself any longer. If I don’t drop this weight my life is going to be considerably shorter and not very pleasant.

I wish it didn’t have to be like this. I wish I wasn’t fixated on food. I wish I could be happy with who I am. I wish I had the kind of metabolism and healthy lifestyle that allows me to eat and keep my weight in check. But that has never been my reality.

I grew up with overprotective parents that discouraged being physically active. We didn’t have medical insurance and they were always afraid that I would get hurt. No sports, no running, no playing outside. Hell, I am the only adult that I know that doesn’t know how to ride a bike.

But I can’t change the past. I can only move forward. The only thing I can do is make a commitment to myself to concentrate on my health and make my weight loss the priority in my life.

This is my white flag. I surrender. I need help.