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We enjoyed the company of my husband’s parents for five days over the holiday. They left this morning to return to Indiana.

They are old people. And they act like it. Most of the time they drive us nuts, but sometimes they are a little amusing. Which makes putting up with all the bickering and other addled behavior worth it.

Here’s the moments that made me smile during the latest visit with the family:

FIL: (discussing with my husband a problem that FIL perceived with one of his tires on the drive through West Virginia) “Where can I take the car to have that tire fixed?”

HUSBAND: “We’ll take it to Firestone.”

FIL: “What about Advance Auto?”

HUSBAND: “They can’t fix it or replace it at Advance. We’ll take it to Firestone.”

FIL: “I don’t know where Firestone is.”

HUSBAND: “I will take you there. Don’t worry about it.”

FIL: “Do you have a Tire Barn here?”

HUSBAND: (now losing all patience with this conversation) “NO! There’s no Tire Barn. There’s Firestone. We’re taking it to Firestone. That’s the only place to buy a tire. That’s it! That’s all we got here!”

FIL: (mulling over the husband’s rant) “Well, then this town would be a great place to open a tire store.”

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FIL: (about five minutes into the beginning of the movie No Country for Old Men) “Is this a movie?”

HUSBAND: “Yes.”

FIL: “On television?”

HUSBAND: “Um, yeah, Dad. We are watching TV.”

FIL: “So it’s not a television show?”

HUSBAND: “No. It’s a movie, Dad. On DVD.”

FIL: “Oh. OK. (pause) It’s not very good.”

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FIL: (After sleeping through three-quarters of No Country for Old Men) “Well, they killed Woody Harrelson! Right at the beginning of the movie!”

Husband: “Dad, the movie’s almost over.”

FIL: “Oh. OK.”

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FIL: (At the abrupt ending of No Country for Old Men) “Well, what was that? Is your television working right? I think it cut off the end of this movie.”

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FIL: (The next night, at the end of the film Revolutionary Road, during which he stayed awake through every moment of the thoroughly depressing movie) “You two sure know how to pick ‘em.”

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MIL: ( Saturday night, while we were at the hibachi grill at a god-awful Japanese steak house, discussing whether or not the Colts game would be televised here on Sunday) “Peyton Manning is busy making all those commercials. He wouldn’t have time to sleep around like Tiger Woods. Unless it’s just a quickie. Besides, I’ve heard he’s gay.”