I am still determined to get to the gym, but today I engaged in my favorite aerobic activity: House cleaning.
Stop laughing. I am for really reals. I love a clean house and I don’t mind putting in the effort to get it there. It’s just that finding the time can be difficult. Regular cleaning intervals would keep me from the porn I watch on the Food Network or, dare I say it, from “Glee” or “So You Think You Can Dance.”
Unfucking acceptable.
We have a cleaning lady who comes twice a month to do the “heavy cleaning” that my arthritic knee can’t handle. But she didn’t show again this week and I think we may need to fire her ass soon because she blows us off at least every other visit and I think it’s time to admit that she’s just not that into us.
But I digress. We had to clean this place today.
The catalyst was our pit bull puppy, the dog formerly known as Stormy and now known as Pukey McPukerstein. He hurled all over the bedroom floor last night. We did a spot cleaning at 4 a.m. and got out the big guns this morning: the Dyson vacuum and the Hoover steam cleaner.
(Dear FTC: Not a huge fan, just so you know. I BOUGHT everything mentioned in this blog post with my own hard-earned money and I can say whatever the fuck I want about it because last time I checked, the First Amendment has not been rescinded. Until it is? Kiss my fat ass. Now go away, m’kay?)
Investing in these two pieces of equipment has saved my carpet. With three big dogs and a big back yard full of, you know, dirt, I’d swear we’d have ripped up every stitch of carpet and put down industrial concrete that could be hosed down if not for these miracle machines.
And we have a Roomba, which is made of magic and is all kinds of awesome. I need to see if they have a Roomba that wet mops. I’d make happy in my pants if I could find that.
Please Santa, make it so!
Anyway, all this cleaning has interrupted a day I planned to read my book club book, cause the meeting is Thursday, and well, I suck. But that gives me more incentive to go to the gym because my Kindle totally fits on the treadmill stand.
