I have been laying (or lying, I suck at remembering the correct usage for that word) in my bedroom since last night because I have the world’s worst belly ache.
Cramping, pain, hurling. Seriously, I don’t know how those bulimic girls do it. I hate to puke, I cannot imagine doing it willingly. Crossing bulimia off my list as possible diet plans. To my dentist I say: You’re welcome.
Any old hoo, between my many naps today, I had lots of random thoughts. None of them all that interesting or amusing, but this is my blog so I can record this shit for my own enjoyment.
- My closet needs a serious re-organization.
- And the light in there? Way to fucking bright.
- Is there a reality show that will do that for me?
- When was the last time I changed these sheets?
- Why am I watching the damn Food Network when I have a stomach ache? What the fuck is wrong with me?
- How in the hell did Ina Garten, who oozes snooty from her pores, and Sandra Lee, who is certifiably annoying, ever get their own cooking shows?
- Let’s check Twitter.
- My cat is a fucking terrorist. And a snugglebunny. He’s a split personality.
- My pit bull puppy? Snores like an old fat man.
- We really need to paint this room.
- I have way too many unread books and magazines.
- Considering I also have a Kindle with a number of unread books, this is a problem.
- I may have more time to read if I wasn’t watching re-runs of cooking shows.
- Let’s check Twitter again. And Facebook.
- I need to find just the right color for this room. A nice shade of pumpkin, I think.
- Pumpkin? Oh, hell no.
- Grilled cheese sandwiches are manna from heaven.
- Big slices of carrots in chicken noodle soup are a mistake.
- Lord, I need to shave my legs.
- And my pits.
- The teddy bear on my dresser looks bored.
- Why does a 46-year-old married woman have a teddy bear on her dresser?
- Multiple teddy bears actually.
- Twitter!
- I should do the laundry.
- Nah.
- Belly aches suck and make me whiny.
- Guess we now know the genesis of the verbal phrase “belly aching.”
- Oh, a new post from The Bloggess! And it’s about cocaine in a hotel room. Squee!
- Being sick sucks. But work sucks more. For really reals.
- I may need to find a new job.
- So going to see the doctor tomorrow.
- Please don’t let this be swine flu.
- Don’t kiss me, or use my spoon or fork. I may have flu that’s named for pork.
