Not a single post on this blog in the entire month of November. And it’s not because I am lazy.
Sitting still long enough to compose a coherent blog entry is just not something I have had time or inspiration to do.
My family lost a loved one. A dear, sweet, gentle soul who took a little bit of my heart with him when he passed from this world. But since he made my heart a little bigger just by loving me, I had heart to spare.
The experience of losing someone is difficult — the daily pilgrimage to the hospital, the breath-holding while waiting for test results and daily doctor updates, the time sitting bedside in the hospice room, and then the rituals of saying goodbye.
Few things are more heartbreaking than seeing the toll the grief takes on the folks you love.
Since we returned home to our routine life, I feel like I have been running, literally and figuratively. I did actual run a few steps on a treadmill — something I haven’t done in years. The joints held up pretty well as long as I held on to the rails.
I have also been running around trying to make this an extra special holiday season. Weather canceled a trip home to Indiana for Thanksgiving, but we managed to put on a last minute feast here at home with family and a dear friend.
Shopping. Christmas cards. Thank-you cards for all the folks that went out of their way to help during those tough weeks for my family. Work. Holiday parties. My calendar is spilling over with reminders of places I need to be and things I need to do.
And then there is exercise. I guess I know this is a lifestyle change for me because the best relief of stress I found through all of this is to keep moving. I walk miles around my neighborhood, even in the coldest weather. I take at least half a dozen fitness classes at the gym each week.
Even while we were away dealing with critical illness, I found that walking and day-passes to the YMCA in Muncie gave me much-needed mental relief and made me feel better than overeating ever did.
I went hiking the day after Thanksgiving with my husband and my niece. HIKING! Like up a mountain.
Lesson learned: DO NOT drink cocktails with a straw.
So yesterday, I crashed. Hard.
I have a FitBit that tracks my steps. Since I got it in the spring, I have never had a day below 2,000 steps.
Yesterday’s total: 765.
I barely moved at all. And it was glorious.
As much as perpetual motion has been my antidote to stress — and helped me get within a couple of pounds of goal weight — taking a single day to just be still was what my body and soul needed.
Today I will get back to moving my ass at the highest speed I can muster. But every once in a while, a day of doing nothing is just the right thing.